My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
