My pussy is not your playground.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
