Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm jealous of your bromance
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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