if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
