you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
