he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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