I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize