Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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