I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
