Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
