I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
