i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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