We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
