Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
