So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this beer tastes like vomit already
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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