I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize