did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
