i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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