the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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