Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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