so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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