Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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