bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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