I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
