So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
