oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
