Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
