U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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