You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is the high leading the old right now
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
