That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize