i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
