I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
