Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
