btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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