I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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