Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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