i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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