wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
