I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
