watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
