The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
