that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
