Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
