did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
