we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
