they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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