So drunk its hurt
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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