Its about making memories worth repressing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
