you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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