Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
