I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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