This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
