in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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