Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
