Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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