I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
