It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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