Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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