matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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